In a Spiritual Rut? Check your Tires!
Practical steps for getting unstuck
How many of you are still keeping to your New Years resolutions? Unfortunately these are, for many, already a distant and slightly embarrassing memory. Some of you may have even already fallen off the wagon for your Lenten practices.
If you have, or you didn’t even choose a Lenten practice, I want to encourage you to not let perfect be the enemy of the good. We are only ten days into Lent! Thirty days isn’t as good as forty days. But it’s way better than giving up after just ten. Getting back up after failing will probably help you grow even more than had you perfectly executed your original plan.
Encouragement aside, the question remains: why do we so easily go back to our old ways? We can struggle to stay consistent for many reasons. When we struggle, it can be tempting to think that the experience or desire that moved us to change wasn’t real. This can lead us to approach spiritual improvement with cynicism and learned helplessness.
I believe that more often than not, the problem wasn’t that the experience that moved you to change wasn’t real. The problem is that you tried to drive away from it on a flat tire.
The Four “Tires”
Have you ever tried to drive with a flat tire? It is dangerous, nerve wracking, and it can end up doing serious damage to the car. There are dozens of ways we can improve our spiritual lives. But I believe there are four main ‘tires.’ If these are not properly inflated, we likely won’t get anywhere fast.
1. Prayer
“As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God.
My soul thirsts for God, the living God”
(Psalm 42:1-2)
Prayer is every bit as important to our souls as water is to our bodies. We need to stay hydrated. What would it be like to go an entire day without water? Maybe you’ve experienced that before. What if you went more than a few days? You might be able to survive, but you’d also be profoundly miserable and diminished.
In the same way, we really shouldn’t be going more than a few hours without lifting our mind to God in prayer. Quantity and quality matters. The scriptures tell us to pray continually, and to love God with all our heart, mind, strength, and spirit. If you go the whole day only taking a few sips here and there - a few mumbled prayers before meals and before bed - then it shouldn’t be a surprise that your faith life is flagging.
Drink up and drink deeply!
Practical steps:
-Take every transition point in the day as an opportunity to pray. Pray when you get up, and before you go to bed. Before and after each meal. Before and after each task.
-Sometimes we think we are praying when we are actually just thinking. Allow prayer to be a two way conversation between you and God.
-Before any prayer: take a few moments to recollect yourself and bring your mind to an awareness of God’s presence.
-Set aside an extended period of time every day for prayer.
-If you are new to prayer or want to go deeper, give the Hallow app a try, or at least check out this excellent resource they’ve provided for how to pray.
2. Fellowship
Where one alone may be overcome, two together can resist.
A three-ply cord is not easily broken.
Ecclesiastes (4:12)
If you are struggling in your spiritual journey, it may be because you are trying to go it alone. The spiritual life is not easy. We are not supposed to do it by ourselves. If you had the willpower to live a strong spiritual life on your own, you’d already be doing it.
Without the support and accountability of other Christians, you will almost certainly not be able to withstand the hardships and temptations that life will throw at you. Even if you could, someone else might need your support and accountability. Even if both of you are truly self sufficient, you are missing out on one of the greatest joys of life: the opportunity to share the journey of life with brothers and sisters in Christ who truly know and love you.
Practical steps:
-Do you have at least three people who you can go to for support and accountability in your spiritual life?
-Do these people really know you? Are you sharing what is really going on in your life?
-Check in frequently with someone: at least once a week, preferably every few days, ideally every day. The longer you go between check ins, the easier it is to hide.
-Find at least one mentor (so you don’t waste your time reinventing the wheel), one companion (someone who can journey alongside you), and one person you can take under your wing (we learn by teaching, love grows when it is shared).
-Fully commit to your Church - stick with it in good times and in bad, and give generously of your time, talents, and treasure.
3. Healing
“Do not forsake me O LORD! O my God be not far from me.”
(Psalm 38:21)
All of us have wounds. Our wounds do not define us. But they profoundly impact our ability to understand and be fully open to the truth that we are beloved children of God.
For example, if you had a strict, overbearing father who made you feel like nothing you did was ever good enough, it can be challenging to relate to the parable of the prodigal son, where Jesus reveals that the Father’s love is tender, extravagant, and unconditional. If you were abandoned or abused, it can be hard to relate to Psalm 23 with its image of the Lord as the good shepherd.
If you carry wounds, you likely also carry lies. Lies like “God doesn’t love me” or “I am worthless.” Usually we wouldn’t consciously phrase them this way. To uncover lies, we have to work backwards from how we behave and what our attitude is. Would I feel or act this way if I really believed God loves me?
Practical Steps:
-Shame is like mold: it thrives in darkness, but it withers and recedes in sunlight. Don’t try to carry your wounds alone. Find trustworthy people who you can share with.
-Bring your shame to God. I suggest prayerfully meditating on the parable of the prodigal son. How do I see myself? How does God see me?
-Educate yourself on how our wounds impact our relationship with God. I’ve personally found Neal Lozano’s Unbound materials and The Soul of Shame by Curt Thompson especially helpful.
-Seek therapy if necessary. It is good to share with family and peers, but they might not have the experience and training necessary to give you the support you need.
4. Ministry
What does it profit, my brethren, if a man says he has faith but has not works?
Can his faith save him?
(James 2:14)
If prayer is like breathing in, ministry is like breathing out. What would happen if you just inhaled without exhaling?
This raises the question, what is more important, breathing in or breathing out?Technically, you couldn’t breathe out without breathing in. This is why Jesus lists loving your neighbor as yourself as the second commandment. We can’t truly love and serve our neighbors if we aren’t first tapped into God’s love.
All the same, breathing in won’t do you any good if you don’t breathe out. Love will run out if it is not shared. That’s why James says that “faith without works is dead.”
Practical steps:
-Review the spiritual and corporal works of mercy. Which do you feel drawn to? Are there any which you are gifted in?
-Who are the people in your life and sphere of influence who are in need of service? Listen to these words of Mother Teresa:
“Find your own Calcutta. Find the sick, the suffering, and the lonely right where you are — in your own homes and in your own families, in your workplaces and in your schools. You can find Calcutta all over the world, if you have the eyes to see. Everywhere, wherever you go, you find people who are unwanted, unloved, uncared for, just rejected by society — completely forgotten, completely left alone.”
-Find a ministry or charitable organization that resonates with you, and volunteer to help them.
-During Lent, donate money every week to a charitable or evangelistic organization. Even if you can only afford to give a small amount, consistently giving will keep service to others in your mind.
5. Study (spare)
My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge
(Hosea 4:6)
Rather, the law of the LORD is his joy; and on his law he meditates day and night.
(Psalm 1:2)
Study gets a bad rap these days. I think there can be a tendency to overcorrect for the over-intellectualization of the faith. As the verses I quoted above make clear, the faith might be more than pondering the word of God, but it isn’t less than that. If your tire is flat in another area, study is exactly the spare tire that can help you get to a place where you can replace that tire.
The verses also remind us that growing in our understanding of God’s word isn’t merely necessary, it is an inexhaustible source of joy and delight.
I once heard a priest say that we should know the Bible like we know our home. What is it like when you’re staying at a hotel and trying to find the light switch at night? You fumble and flail and trip around in the dark. But in your own home you could find it with your eyes closed. If you don’t have this level of familiarity with the scriptures, it’s time to start studying!
Practical steps:
-Commit to being a proactive and lifelong learner
-Read the Bible every day. Many people have enjoyed Fr. Mike Schmitz’s Bible in a Year podcast.
-Study and become familiar with The Catechism of the Catholic Church. It is the most comprehensive, authoratative, and up to date reference for the Catholic faith (See Fr. Mike Schmitz’s Catechism in a year podcast).
-You can’t read it all, and life is too short to try. Let the Holy Spirit guide to to topics and resources that will help you today.
-Join a study group or sign up for a theology course at a local seminary.
Driving on a flat tire is bad
I believe the body of Christ is struggling because even the majority of self identified Christians are driving on three to four flat, or at least severely under inflated tires:
We do not pray as we ought, and so our spiritual lives become superficial, impotent, and uninspiring.
We are isolated, and so we don’t have the support and accountability necessary to stay faithful and resist temptation.
We carry wounds that enslave us to anxiety, malaise, and bitterness, and these choke the word of God from entering into our hearts.
We do not serve others in ministry as we should, and so we become self absorbed, bored, and boring.
Imagine where we could drive, imagine where the Church could go
If every Catholic had a deep transforming prayerful union with Christ?
If every Catholic was truly known and loved and supported by brothers and sisters journeying together with them toward holiness?
If we were freed from the burdens and wounds we carried in our hearts, walking in our identity as beloved sons and daughters of God?
Imagine if everyone committed themselves wholeheartedly to using their gifts to build up the Church and serve others?
This would be an incredible reality. This is where we are trying to drive with our car. It is why we are trying to inflate our tires. But there is still one issue that is even more important than not having flat tires:
What is worse than a flat tire?
Driving on a flat tire is bad, but what is even worse is having the wrong driver. Ask yourself: who is in the drivers seat of your life?
If you’ll excuse the phrasing, this is where the rubber hits the road. Who should be driving the car? You or God? Who is a better driver? Who knows the way? Who would do a better job avoiding accidents? Who would stop at the right times?
The bottom line is that if we want to go places in our spiritual car, we need to, as Fr. Bob Bedard would say, “give God permission” to be in charge of our lives.1
If you are spiritually stuck, I encourage you to take twenty minutes praying through the following questions.
Which area does Jesus most want you to address? (Prayer, Fellowship, Healing, Ministry)
What is one concrete action Jesus wants you to take in this area?
Ask God to reveal to you one person who can give you support and accountability
For the twenty minutes, do your best not to think about these questions. You have the whole rest of the day to analyze them and decide what makes sense to do. For at least these twenty minutes, give God the floor and listen for his still small voice. He might lead you exactly where you expected, but he is also a God of surprises. As always, it’s best to run what you think you heard in prayer by a trusted spiritual friend. May God be with you as you pray!
Or as Carrie Underwood would say, Jesus take the wheel!